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Birth order

30 Sep

Birth order matters according to Dr. Kevin Leman, author of The Birth Order Book – Why You Are the Way You Are.  I’ve been reading it – here’s his framework on how the different orders generally are (noting that not every characteristic applies to every child):

First Child: perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, a list maker, well-organized, hard-driving, a natural leader, critical, serious, scholarly, logical, doesn’t like surprises, a techie.

Middle Child: mediator, compromising, diplomatic, avoids conflict, independent, loyal to peers, has many friends, a maverick, secretive, used to not having attention.

Youngest Child: manipulative, charming, blames others, attention seeker, tenacious, people person, natural salesperson, precocious, engaging, affectionate, loves surprises.

Only Child: little adult by age seven, very thorough, deliberate, high achiever, self-motivated, fearful, cautious, voracious reader, black-and-white thinker, talks in extremes, can’t bear to fail, has very high expectations for self, more comfortable with people who are older or younger.

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I’ve found one! I’ve found one! My God, they exisit.

28 Sep

Daniel Suelo wasn’t poor, a victim of bad luck, mentally ill, or even uneducated. He just decided that he wanted to have nothing to do with money. So he gave up consumer culture altogether, and for the last 9 years, he’s survived by living in a cave in Utah, and dumpster diving, foraging, fishing, and occasionally hunting for food. He spends his time in the great outdoors–and in the public library, where he blogs about it all.

Suelo must have the lowest carbon footprint of any blogger in the United States. And he’s never taken food stamps or other government assistance, and despite what his lifestyle may lead you to believe, he’s certainly not crazy. He’s just got an aversion to money.

According to MatadorChange, he was working in South America when he was first moved to consider a money-free, zero impact lifestyle:

While in Ecuador on a Peace Corps mission, he witnessed a rural community acquire increased monetary wealth through farming and shift their traditional lifestyle towards a diet of unhealthy, processed food and a newfound addiction to television … He made the conscious decision to return home, quit his job, and carve out a life without money.

Suelo himself writes “I’ve been living without a cent to my name since the autumn of 2000 (with a month’s exception during my first year)” on the front page of the website he runs from the public library.

It’s interesting to look at Suelo’s nearly decade-long dedication to anti-consumerism in contrast to the recent ‘eco-stunts’ that essentially promote similar ideals: sure, No Impact Man learned how hard it is to walk up six flights of stairs to get to his apartment for a year, but he he got a film and book deal out of it. Suelo’s got no cameras following him around, and he mostly just uses his blog to wax poetic about his living philosophy.

Of course, few would be willing to take such a plunge into a moneyless, ultra-low impact life. But simply knowing that Suelo has should be enough to make us think a long hard minute about all the stuff we heedlessly buy. Reverend Billy may be the head of the Church of Stop Shopping, but Daniel Suelo is its patron saint.

Revenge of the Introvert

28 Sep

By Laurie Helgoe

After ten years as a psychologist practicing psychodynamic psychotherapy, I reclined on the couch of my own analyst feeling burdened by my chosen work. After a day of seeing patients, I was drained. I had been trained to listen at many levels—words, emotions, unconscious disclosures—and I took all of that in and sorted it out in my mind. I was good at helping others discover and pursue what they wanted out of life. But at day’s end I had no resources left to do it for myself.

Then I heard myself say: “I don’t like being a therapist.” Pause. “I never have.” I loved the study of psychology. I didn’t love seeing patient after patient. I was perpetually overstimulated, busy decoding everything I took in. Plus, I wondered why I couldn’t tolerate the large caseloads my colleagues took on willingly.

Suddenly I felt free, loosed from expectations that never fit. And just as suddenly, I felt I could say no to the demands of others. I could even say no to being a therapist.

As a card-carrying introvert, I am one of the many people whose personality confers on them a preference for the inner world of their own mind rather than the outer world of sociability. Depleted by too much external stimulation, we thrive on reflection and solitude. Our psychic opposites, extroverts, prefer schmoozing and social life because such activities boost their mood. They get bored by too much solitude.

Over the past two decades, scientists have whittled down to five those clusters of cognitions, emotions, motivations, and behaviors that we mean by “personality” factors. Extraversion, and by inference introversion, is chief among them, along with neuroticism, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness—psychology’s so-called Big Five.

cont’ article here

The little things I can’t not do.

26 Sep
Rotating image of Optical Coherence Tomography...

Image via Wikipedia

  • Obsessively skin pick
  • Click my teeth to made-up beats
  • Major dyslexic tendencies
  • Drum fingers to made-up beats
  • Rub fingers together constantly
  • Wring hands constantly

When speaking or listening to someone (radio, tv, movie, in person) I will think about the last word they say, then the last letter in the word. The I’ll draw out the word (in the air, or on my seat) as many times as I seem to need to. There is never a set number of times, and if my hands aren’t free I’ll use my tongue with my mouth closed.

After that, I’ll obsess over what my last word will be, then my last letter. And oh the horror of thinking I wont have a last word!

What are some of the things you do? Come on, I know you’re all freaks like me.

Vacation.

22 Sep

Cognitive behavioural therapy helps people correct negative thought patterns and better adapt to the world around them.

Quick, run out into a highly populated area and grab the closest stranger to you. You’ve got a “one in five” chance of grabbing a very depressed person.

I, a human being of the planet Earth do not agree with that percentage in the least (because I have eyes and ears, I don’t know about you). I’m aiming a bit higher, let’s say one in three at least. Anyway the point is that out of five very depressed people one of them apparently wants to end their life, or at least that’s what Ashley told me over the summer of 2003.

It’s a memorable summer mainly because two people I love snuffed it and I was entering my junior year of High School. Life moves on whether you’re ready or not and in no time I was too busy to reflect. Depression and suicide statistics were a distant memory and things were going well. Then they found her in a tree, and boom, Ashley  became the statistics she always spoke  of. I’ve often thought she might have chosen hanging not because it was easy (it isn’t) but because the statistics of hangings in America have dropped rapidly over the last twenty-five years.

So here’s to you Ashley. I’ve kept my promise, kept going this long. “Stick around till the good parts are gone”.

Mumford and Sons (Music Monday, mother fuckers!)

13 Sep

It’s empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you’ve left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I’ll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears

(excerpt from The Cave)

~

“Since they formed in December 2007, the members of Mumford & Sons have shared a common purpose: to make music that matters, without taking themselves too seriously.” Or at least that’s what their well-built and handsomely designed website says.

Take it from me, you’re going to want to listen to these young men. You’re going to want to live in their words.

-Ade

And don’t they just have the absolute best band pictures?

When I don’t feel free and can’t do what I want I just react. I go against it. -KR

10 Sep

I’m doing research on Keanu Reeves right now. He’s extremely interesting to learn about actually. I’m researching him for a painting I’ve decided to do. I’m torn in between painting the meme “Sad Keanu” version (seen above) or finding something better.

I guess we’ll just have to see.

Keanu quotes:

  • [when told he’d have to “bite the bullet”] Yes, but I don’t have to eat the whole rifle.
  • I’m Mickey Mouse. They don’t know who’s inside the suit.

My favorite:

  • What would happen if you melted? You know, you never really hear this talked about much, but spontaneous combustion? It exists!…[people] burn from within…sometimes they’ll be in a wooden chair and the chair won’t burn, but there’ll be nothing left of the person. Except sometimes his teeth. Or the heart. No one speaks about this, but its for real.