Swimming

4 Sep

When you’re drunk and find yourself alone does your mind speak? Some just stumble and crawl, their buoyant bodies are all there is.The mind, sealed tight.

Do you think? Hearing the ghost of your sober self speaking sober words. Do you look in the mirror and hear your mind say “you should fix our mascara.”

In the dirty haze of a whiskey binge I can always find my mind, huddled like a frightened child at the back of the room. And when I reach for her she does not speak of makeup application, she does not whisper of the mess I’ve made of my body, and our life.

She speaks to me of the origins of punk rock, the history of homosexuality. She tells me of the places my 93%  has been. And I can tell her nothing with my miserable lips, twisted in a drunken grin. But I know she knows I’ve loved none like her.

And we know that somewhere on our beloved planet there are others who would love us. And once I’m done ruining things we will search them out. We will travel and they will be in book stores, they will drink too much wine. And we will love and be loved, One at last.

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